So, I'm at a “model bar” to meet the pretty girls
I flash my winning smile – they don't care
They just flip their hair – they site and stare
That's when I say …fuckity, fuckity, fuckity fuck
So, I try to buy some cocaine – I finally find the guy
But I can't find my wallet anywhere
He gives me a glare – ships out his badge right there
That's when I say… fuckity fuckity fuckity fuck!
So, he puts me in a headlock – he kicks me in the nuts
He throws my stupid ass down the stairs
He says, “boy, you ain't no player – you're going to jail”
That's when I say…. Fuckity fuckity fuckity fuck
So, they take me to a room – they say I did a murder
That I match the description – I declare!
They say, “Son, you better clench your tail,
Cuz there's no bail”
That's when I say … fuckity, fuckity, fuckity FUCK!
So, I'm lock up with a rapist, and a one-eyed child molester
And an angry drunken wrestler – tempers flare!
They're big as grizzly bears – they stroke my hair
That's when I say …fuckity, fuckity, fuckity FUCK!
Tomorrow is another day – a day goes made
And to that I say… fuckity fuckity fuckity FUUUCK!